Category Archives: Relationship

In Love with Love: Part II

Being in love is like living a heavenly dream. But like all dreams, you will wake up eventually. When you wake up, you are left with nothing more than residual memories fleeting into obliviousness. I don’t know if that is true for everyone, but it was for me.

When I fell out of love, I became miserable and inactive. My mind yearned for the blissful abode that housed my initial feelings of infatuation and obsession. I became fixated on the past and allowed it to preoccupy my mind on a day-to-day basis. “Nothing in the present moment can even compare to the beauty of the past memories of being in love.” That was the thought that kept reappearing in my mind. I was harboring an insane mindset.

My mind was making excuses, any excuses to cling onto the idea of love. My story was my identity. My whole sense of self was invested within a dream. I feared for the end of this drama, so I attacked my emotions whenever I had doubts. I brainwashed and manipulated my own mind towards unconsciousness. I put my ideas of love on life support and held it captive in my mind. I resisted its departure with all my might because I couldn’t bear living my life without it. I was fighting against the natural law of physical impermanence.

We all know that nothing last forever. Everything is bound to end. Even though I knew all this, it didn’t stop me from growing attached to my false dreams of love. I faltered and stopped growing consciously. I was wallowing in my own fantasy world of make beliefs and daydreaming love scenarios over and over again in my mind. I was trapped by my egoic inclination for the feelings that love invoked in me.

I can see it now, how I became so obsessed with love. All these years of dwelling and living out my ideas reinforced my attachment towards love. I created a barrier that prevented me from seeing the truth.

I don’t know what love is. I merely attached an idea of love to my mind by feeding it with its desired food. I listened to so many love songs. They all reinforced my love thought patterns. I watched so many romantic movies and read so many love stories. I engulfed my entire being in a destructive and obsessive habit that made my illusion all the more real. In fact, I wanted it to be real. At least that is what my mind told me.

I thought what I was doing was unconditional love: to choose to love even when I was no longer feeling love. I was wrong. Continue reading

Perfect Love

“Let’s talk about life.” My Cousin Jason said enthusiastically while on Skype call with me and two other cousins of ours.

“Ok, so what do you want to talk about?” I answered back in an excited manner, hoping to have an intelligent and loving conversation with him.

“You know how there are over 7 billion people in the world right? Well, that means people can never find the perfect-perfect love in their lives.” Jason said with uttermost certainty.

“What do you mean?” I asked questioningly. “What you just said does not make sense to me. Care to explain?”

“Alright! Let’s assume that the average person dates about 1 to 100 people in his lifetime. That means he only dated a tiny, tiny fraction of the human population. Consider the fact that it takes over 31 years to count off 1 billion seconds. If that person spends his entire life meeting someone new every second, he won’t even get to meet half the human population on Earth.” Jason exclaimed. Continue reading

The Things about Sex

After writing about Love, I realized that the most logical step to take next is to write about sex. It is a fascinating topic that I want to write about because it is a topic often overlooked. Many people avoid discussing about sex entirely because they are uncomfortable about revealing their thoughts. They fear that others would ridicule them or even poke fun of their perceptions. And because of that, people stagnate when it comes to sexual growth and understanding.

It is my desire to reveal the common misconceptions about sex. You may ask, “What does a virgin know anything about this topic?” Well that is true. I may not know much about the act of making love, but I am a man. And like most men, we all go through a period when the desire for women controls our every waking thoughts and actions. I may not know everything, but I know what it is like to have an insatiable drive for sex. I know how to distinguish what sex is and what sex is not because I value it ever so much, even though I never had it. I hope that I can open your eyes, and expand your awareness about the mysterious nature of copulation. Maybe my views will serve as a guide to help you make important, intelligent decisions. Maybe they will only serve to give you a good laugh. But whatever your reaction is, I am ready to share my thoughts. Continue reading

The Things about Love

The secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away…

Kent Nerburn

I am not a smart person when it comes to love. I do not claim to be one. Love is full of mystery and it will always be something outside of my realm of comprehension. I can ponder about the mysteries of why and how people fall in love, but I will never find the reasons. It is as mysterious as to why the universe exists. So what’s the point? What’s the point in talking about love? Well, because there are lessons to be learned. And I’m here to give you my subjective views on love, in the spirit of the holiday and in hopes that it will inspire you to think about it differently.

I have never been in a relationship before. It is not wrong to label me as someone who is reserve and unreceptive. When love first came knocking on my door, I surrounded my heart with an impenetrable barrier to prevent my feelings from overflowing. But despite my best efforts, I cannot hide my innate desire to love and be loved. I know it is a natural thing to love, but I was scared. I was scared of rejection. I was scared because the feelings of love were foreign to me. I had no idea how to deal with love. But with years of pondering and observing, I think I learned some fundamental aspects of it. And here are the results: Continue reading

Dealing with my Asian Parents on Love & Relationships

Relationship is a very touchy subject in an Asian family. Growing up my parents would always say to me, “You cannot get a girlfriend until after college.” I always wonder about what my parents said. I just don’t understand their logic. What is the problem with dating someone? Perhaps, they think a relationship is build to serve one purpose. That purpose is to start a family. And there is nothing else in between. There is only one absolute goal. Relationships are not for sexual pleasures, it is not for developing one’s social skills, nor is it for love. It is about starting a family. Continue reading